What does the future hold for me? This is something that we all, not just myself, wonder about all the time. Some of us want to know the future because we would like it to go a certain way and so manipulate the present. We do it to become richer, more popular, become famous, becoming engaged to that one guy, become thinner, curvier, darker, fairer.
Me? The same stuff, happier, successful, thin, and pretty. All the things I would work toward if I knew my future. This logic is so flawed that I didn't even see it until I wrote that just now. And here's why...why do I need to know the future to work toward all that stuff? Why not do that stuff now? Why not exercise every day and start playing more with makeup? Why not work toward one goal and build your life around it? Many young people my age right now have no idea what they want to do with their lives. I am the same way. But my personality is so dependant on order and structure that I just can't be a wild free spirit. I have tried it and I just became more miserable because I felt dirty, immature and stupid. I need to feel like a winner all the time. This is a crutch for me because I KNOW that I am not perfect.
I love to travel and be on my own. I also love being around family. So why not become an MSL (Medical Science Liason)? I can work toward doing that Fellowship and then achieve an actual goal. I can exercise and eat right and finally lose weight, another actual goal. Watching all the seasons of Supernatural is not a real goal. It's a path for me to lose my brain slowly but surely.
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