Is Love Alive?

I'm lying in bed listening to Sara Bareilles's 'Winter Song'. It's beautiful and in the silence of 12:46 am, it makes me think of so many things. This is why I don't like to be in silence without some form of audio...tv, movies, music, friends, youtube. I can't be alone with my thoughts or I will start crying. Why am I so sad all the time?

Is love alive? I want to sing this song one day with my sister. Or with someone playing the piano song for me. That someone could be my future man. I don't know who he is. Or even if he'll want to play this song for me on the piano. I can only think of love these days. How I want to be in love so badly. So so bad. But where is he. And if I finally find him, will I be happy? Will it be enough? Who am I without the need for love?

Is love alive? Everyone seems to be looking for it, but only a few have the real strong passionate beautiful kind of love. So many are settling for something less than what they deserve...I just don't want to be one of them. And I know that every one of us who is alone is so full of love for the people around us. We have so much to give, so much to share. So much love and care to shower on everyone. But I need something too. I can't even describe the many ways that having that special someone can change your life.

I just want to be happy. Truly happy. I'm so sick of this silent depression. It doesn't manifest itself in any form of addiction, or destructive quality. I just have no drive anymore. Lethargy. Sorrow. Morosity. Apathy. Depression.