Well. I guess the title says it all. All week long, I kept thinking of things to say and mentally tallied a list of topics to talk about here when I finally got around to writing the post. But... I kept pushing it off. I don't even know what for. But the weekend arrived and with it, a whole lot of messes.
First, to start off I just want to say something: I only write here because I used to keep a written journal and that method is just not plausible anymore in this technological media-suffused world. I'll be out and about, and I'll see something interesting..the first thing I do? Take a picture, Instagram it, send a text to my friends (spoiler alert, I'm not that into Twitter or Snapchat). I don't snap a Polaroid or take a digital picture, and meticulously wait until the day I get my pictures developed to share that interesting thing with the world. We are the media kids. We love the Internet, 'nuff said. SO. I keep a journal, it's cute, pastel green with lilac butterflies, and it contains all my innermost thoughts.
I write here because there are things I need to get off my chest. For example, I am not a bad person. I do a few bad things here and there but on a morality scale that starts from Mother Theresa to Hitler, I think I would be Angelina Jolie. Mostly innocent and brave, with a few missteps along the way.
But my personality tells a whole different story. All my life, my parents have told me that I am too abrasive and harsh. That I need to soften my attitude, get more empathetic, and grow more feelings. This makes me sound like I was a kid who beat up other toddlers and slapped around my siblings. THIS IS NOT TRUE. To this day, I cannot willfully hit a person. I am terrified of all animals, big or small. My parents only said this because I behaved badly to them while I was a a kid. I mostly ignored it for the same reason I ignored their reprimands to dress better and cook more, it was sexist and completely uncalled for in the 21st century.
Now, though...maybe I should have listened? I am finding a lot of negative reactions to my personality. By now, as I am writing this, I think I may have offended at least 3 different people this weekend. And, I may have lost a $158 monthly train pass. IN MY HOUSE SOMEWHERE. Which sounds nicer than it is because I already launched a 2-hour frantic search for it everywhere from the trash inside to the trash outside, and nothing. I cried a whole bunch, seriously considered dramatically giving up and ending my life in a ditch somewhere....and have now finally come to the final stage in grief: acceptance. The pass is probably gone (my mom is going to come tomorrow to help me look for it), there will be other passes, and many other lost passes (hopefully not!).
Moving on....I mean, seriously moving on because if I keep thinking about my upcoming PnT (the super hard therapeutics class that you will hear me rant about, over and over) exam on Wednesday, I am going to blow a vessel and kill my brain.
I have fallen in love. No, not with a boy....with my new favorite Youtuber,
Tati. Please go check her out and give her some love. She deserves it! No, I am not her personal friend or anything. I just really love finding new unique content on Youtube. I wish that could be my full-time job! She posts upwards of four videos a week, all hauls, tutorials, makeup first impressions, reviews, etc.
Also, H&M released a massive new makeup launch. Everything will be sold out soon because it's all super affordable and has a lot of variety.
